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Patriots Pulse
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Notes from the Underbelly: Pats Presser |
Press Conference
As Patriots' General Manager Bill Ryan approaches the podium, a hush falls over the crowd (consisting of two sleeping reporters, one of the reporters' kids, and an overflowing trash cans)
Bill: So we all know what the season looked like, no need to rehash that dumpster fire. I do want to talk about what the Patriots are doing to climb out of the cellar. This offseason has been focused a fundamental change to the way the club plays defense. Specifically, the team adjusting personnel to present a 3-4 base set prepared for Cover 2 activity.
Reporter #1: We heard about the large package trade with the New York Football Giants. Can you elaborate?
Bill: In the trade, we acquired ROLB Micah McFadden who will bolster our OLB rank in support of the new 3-4 base. We also received a VERY fast Wideout in the form of Jalin Hyatt. Lastly, we picked up additional first and third draft picks for next year.
Reporter #2: Many Patriots fans have expressed concern over sending this year's 1.3 for what we received.
Bill: Yeah, and they can all kiss my (*notices child in room) um....nose? Anyway, I can't remember the last time that I was not lambasted by the league's "press corps" over my draft picks.... so hate me for the trade or hate me for the pick I would have made. Six of one and pick 'em.
Reporter #1: How will the new formation look?
Bill: At this time, we are looking at Christian Barmore at Nose Tackle. He's young, holds a 96 OVR and is practially a steer. The boy weighs in at 315 pounds and stands 6'4". Flanking Barmore will be Darrell Taylor (OVR 94) on the left and Keion White (OVR 90) on the right. In the Linebacker Rank, we are looking at (left to right) Azeez Al-Shaair (OVR 93), Ja'Whaun Bentley (OVR 93), Micah McFadden (OVR 86) and Jahlani Tavai (OVR 97). Our FS will likely be Jabrill Peppers (OVR 95) and Kyle Duggar (OVR 97). Still working on decisions regarding the corners.
Reporter #1: Training Camp?
Bill: Depending on where we end up after Free Agency, look for us to send QB Drake Maye, beyond that I don't have any comment. Okay, thanks for attending. |
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Forum Discussion
(by B_Ryan on 02/10/2025)
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Replies - 0 :: Views - 10 |
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Notes from the Underbelly: Season Post-Mortem |
Dateline: Foxboro, MA
Since the curtain closed on the regular season for the New England Patriots, the question on the lips of all 8.2 billion men, women, and children has been the same, "What The F@ck Happened in New England?"
So after being away from the League for two seasons, GM Bill Ryan tossed his hat back into the ring for the inaugural season of the GGL. Rusty, to say the least, he 'lead' the team to a final 5-11 record. That said, the final nine games posted at 5-4, so the team was showing signs of improvement.
A few highlights:
QB Drake Maye - Maye's most impressive statistic was being sacked 78 times. That's not a typo. 78 times.
HB Rhamondre Stevenson - Racked up a 1,000+ Season
WR Chris Godwin - Averaged over 11 yards per catch, but found the end zone only four times throughout the season
Defense - The defense's stats look awful, but in watching the games, they actually played fairly well. They just kept giving up one or two really, REALLY big plays per game, and always at the worst possible moments.
Lessons Learned for Next Season
The entire way this team plays defense. Defensive game planning was handled by a rabies-infected bipolar squirrel, who has since been fired. Without giving away the plot, watch for a revamped, more consistent use of formation and playbook.
A more balanced approach to offense. The team, in its current form, features a developing QB, a young 6'1" 90 OVR receiver and two top caliber tight ends, the shortest of the two being 6'4". The rest of the receiver corps are tradeable. On the rush-side, we are looking to restructure Stevenson's contract and possibly upgrade at our HB2 slot. We'll also be shopping for improvements in the O-line so as to keep Mayes on his feet more often.
The team owns (to the best of my understanding), the 3rd overall pick in the upcoming draft, and depending on what is available in the draft pool, will use or trade it away to accomplish certain objectives in Defense. |
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Forum Discussion
(by B_Ryan on 01/17/2025)
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Replies - 0 :: Views - 7 |
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Notes from the Underbelly: Season Starting Offensive Lineup |
QB
- First String: Drake Maye. No surprise here. Definitely a few growing years ahead of him, but we'll build around his impressive THP of 94.
- Not a lot of depth here for Second and Third String
WR
- 7 Wideouts, only 3 of whom breaks 6 feet and the WR with the highest OVR is a staggering 5'8".
- Look for Melton, Hollins, and Osborn to fill in the top three slots
HB
- Rhamondre Stevenson and Antonio Gibson will continue to compete for the most touches. As the season develops, we will look to define one of the two as the primary runner.
FB
- Just no need for discussion here: Josiah Deguara. Hell, we'd clone him if we could.
TE
- Even more of a beast in his position than Deguara. 6'5", OVR 99. 'nuff said
O-Line
- LT: Michael Onwenu - Overpriced, overvalued, and old enough to no longer realistically be considered a real prospect. But he will start nonetheless.
- LG: Cole Strange - Will start
- C : David Andrews - Will start; hoping for an early retirement
- RG: Layden Robinson - Will start; too soon to have a good idea of where he might go
-RT: Chukwuma Okorafor - Will start; not expecting much if anything from him.
So there's your starting lineup for the upcoming inaugural season. Game planning will be critical to staying out of the AFC East's basement.
Please participate in the poll above this message. |
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Forum Discussion
(by B_Ryan on 10/17/2024)
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Replies - 2 :: Views - 30 |
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Notes from the Underbelly: Preseason Presser |
PR Lackey: Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, please welcome to the podium our new General Manager, Bill Ryan.
Response from the three writers who showed up: *crickets
GM Ryan: Thank you. First off, I'd like to say it's great to be back at the helm of a team again. As many of you know, I stepped down last year following a fifteen-year run through the various iterations of the league, starting with the ancient GMFL, founded in 2008. I'm thrilled to be here in (*checks note written on palm) Boston working for the Patriots. I'll take a couple of questions from the gallery.
*Uncomfortably long pause before first question is asked
Reporter: So, yeah, um, all of New England is, um, 'fascinated' by your being brought on as the team's latest GM. What can you tell the fans to calm them down and reassure them that this isn't some lame practical joke?
GM Ryan: I'd like them all to know that I'm just wild about Boston Clam Chowder and that I'm already working aggressively to eliminate the letter R from my vocabulary wherever possible.
Reporter: Right. Okay, so what are your initial thoughts on the roster here at the halfway point through the preseason?
GM Ryan: I think it could best be summed up by the expression, "we're in a rebuilding period." We have some talent with real promise and then we've got some guys that...well...I could outplay them and I'm 53 years old. Take for example Demario Douglas at WR. He's 5'8". 5'8"!!!!! I've known toddlers taller than him. It'll be a small miracle if we can keep Maye (QB) out of the hospital with the O-Line allowing 14 sacks in the first two games.
While the offense isn't putting up record shattering scores so far, they're putting up enough to be semi-competitive were it now for the Swiss Cheese Defense we've got here. We gave up 44 points in two games. Alright, that's enough for now. I can see that one of the three of you has already left and the other guy has been asleep the entire time. Later. |
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Forum Discussion
(by B_Ryan on 10/11/2024)
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Replies - 2 :: Views - 20 |
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At A Glance
| AFC East |
| RNK |
TEAM |
W-L-T |
PCT |
DIV |
| #4 |
 Dolphins |
4-0-0 |
1.000 |
2-0 |
| #13 |
 Patriots |
4-1-0 |
0.800 |
0-0 |
| #10 |
 Jets |
3-2-0 |
0.600 |
0-1 |
| #25 |
 Bills |
1-4-0 |
0.200 |
0-1 |
| PATRIOTS SCHEDULE |
| Preseason |
| WK |
DATE |
OPPONENT |
SCOUT/RESULT |
| P1 |
Fri |
at  Buccaneers #20 |
|
| P2 |
Fri |
vs  Titans #32 |
|
| P3 |
Fri |
at  Panthers #27 |
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| P4 |
Thu |
vs  Giants #17 |
|
| Regular Season |
| 1 |
Thu |
vs  Raiders #22 |
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| 2 |
Sun |
at Panthers #27 |
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| 3 |
Sun |
at  Steelers #15 |
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| 4 |
Sun |
vs  Chargers #30 |
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| 5 |
Sun |
at  Falcons #7 |
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| 6 |
Sun |
at  Broncos #29 |
Match-up |
| 8 |
Sun |
vs Bills #25 |
Match-up |
| 9 |
Mon |
vs  Colts #23 |
Match-up |
| 10 |
Sun |
at Dolphins #4 |
Match-up |
| 11 |
Sun |
vs  Saints #31 |
Match-up |
| 12 |
Sun |
at  Chiefs #14 |
Match-up |
| 13 |
Sun |
vs Jets #10 |
Match-up |
| 14 |
Sun |
at Bills #25 |
Match-up |
| 15 |
Sat |
vs Buccaneers #20 |
Match-up |
| 16 |
Mon |
at Jets #10 |
Match-up |
| 17 |
Sun |
vs Dolphins #4 |
Match-up |
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